She had never been keen to routines and rituals. She was too lazy and distracted for this type of commitment. But despite the lack of sense on waking up, existing and going to bed everyday, she just kept going. She can't pinpoint exactly when the mundane act of living stopped making sense to her. Certainly there were big losses in her life could explain her acts devoid of meaning, but for awhile she carried certain emotion inside herself that she would lend to the facts around her like a lace window treatment covering a dismayed landscape view.
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
What if I was called Goodluck Jonathan?
It was certain inside of her that one day she would find no use for being alive anymore and it would have nothing to do with health, need or desire.
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Mourning by numbers
She had this friend from work that use to count his steps all the time. He couldn't help it. He knew how many steps from his car to the front door, how many steps from the front door to the elevators, how many steps from the elevator to his desk, his whole life counting steps. It was a savant-like talent, to live surrounded by number of steps.
When she lost her son, numbers started to hunt her.
"On July 22nd of 2009 my youngest son, born on may 12th of 1984, took his own life. He was living in Rio de Janeiro, RJ, Brazil, Latitude: 22 54' 0" S Longitude: 43 56'-1" W.
His body was found by his father when he came home after work. His father called the emergency dialing 192 while trying to give him CPR. When the paramedics arrived my son was pronounced dead and the paramedic told his father that nothing could have been done to save my son.
His father called me at 6:02 PM US Central time, which was two hours behind Brasilia time. I was in Bentonville,AR. I had to call my husband in Richardson, TX to make flight arrangements so I could go to the funeral in Brazil with my other son. It took me 3 hours to make all the arrangements to leave from Bentonville and go to Richardson. A friend of mine drove us (my son, my daughter and me) to Richardson,TX, covering 346.5 miles in 5 hours and 35 minutes. We boarded the flight AA 963 from DFW to GRU at 7:00 PM at gate D33. I took the seat 45D by my son at seat 45F. The flight took off at 7:45 PM for a 9 hour 55 minutes flight. Arriving at GRU airport, the plane had a 30 minutes delay due to weather conditions until we could land.
While we were flying, my son's remains were transported from Rio de Janeiro to Belo Horizonte (Lat: 19 55'0" S Long: 43 56'-1"W), 210 miles, lasting 3 hours and 49 minutes. We stayed at GRU airport 3 hours waiting for the flight GOL 1648 from GRU to Confins airport in Belo Horizonte, MG. My brother, a nephew and a niece joined us on this leg of the trip. At this time, my mother told me that 3 masses had been prayed in my son's memory. The flight GOL 1648 took off at 10:40 AM. I was in seat 21E and we arrived at Confins at 11:50 AM. It took us around 45 minutes to retrieve our luggage and we had to take two cabs to go to the funeral home. It was a very long ride. We arrived at the funeral home at 1:30 PM. I could spend just 3 hours with my son. He was buried at Parque da Colina cemetery, on a steep hill at the roses zone, block IX-1150 by his grandmother's grave at 4:30 PM.
The paramedics estimated that my son probably died in 4 minutes. There are 240 seconds in 4 minutes. The time that took to show all these pictures about his life.
Flávio, we miss you so dearly. We love you forever."
When she lost her son, numbers started to hunt her.
"On July 22nd of 2009 my youngest son, born on may 12th of 1984, took his own life. He was living in Rio de Janeiro, RJ, Brazil, Latitude: 22 54' 0" S Longitude: 43 56'-1" W.
His body was found by his father when he came home after work. His father called the emergency dialing 192 while trying to give him CPR. When the paramedics arrived my son was pronounced dead and the paramedic told his father that nothing could have been done to save my son.
His father called me at 6:02 PM US Central time, which was two hours behind Brasilia time. I was in Bentonville,AR. I had to call my husband in Richardson, TX to make flight arrangements so I could go to the funeral in Brazil with my other son. It took me 3 hours to make all the arrangements to leave from Bentonville and go to Richardson. A friend of mine drove us (my son, my daughter and me) to Richardson,TX, covering 346.5 miles in 5 hours and 35 minutes. We boarded the flight AA 963 from DFW to GRU at 7:00 PM at gate D33. I took the seat 45D by my son at seat 45F. The flight took off at 7:45 PM for a 9 hour 55 minutes flight. Arriving at GRU airport, the plane had a 30 minutes delay due to weather conditions until we could land.
While we were flying, my son's remains were transported from Rio de Janeiro to Belo Horizonte (Lat: 19 55'0" S Long: 43 56'-1"W), 210 miles, lasting 3 hours and 49 minutes. We stayed at GRU airport 3 hours waiting for the flight GOL 1648 from GRU to Confins airport in Belo Horizonte, MG. My brother, a nephew and a niece joined us on this leg of the trip. At this time, my mother told me that 3 masses had been prayed in my son's memory. The flight GOL 1648 took off at 10:40 AM. I was in seat 21E and we arrived at Confins at 11:50 AM. It took us around 45 minutes to retrieve our luggage and we had to take two cabs to go to the funeral home. It was a very long ride. We arrived at the funeral home at 1:30 PM. I could spend just 3 hours with my son. He was buried at Parque da Colina cemetery, on a steep hill at the roses zone, block IX-1150 by his grandmother's grave at 4:30 PM.
The paramedics estimated that my son probably died in 4 minutes. There are 240 seconds in 4 minutes. The time that took to show all these pictures about his life.
Flávio, we miss you so dearly. We love you forever."
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