What most parents survivors of suicide look for are signs of their deceased children.
It's a softer way to deal with the disbelief that their child is gone forever. Some think of their children as angels, leaving in heaven and watching over their shoulders, concerned with tear, sob and pain they suffer. There was even a mother that felt uncomfortable taking a shower with lights on, because she imagined that her son was around her all the time.
Several, no matter their religious beliefs, would seek the help of psychics, mediums, clairvoyants, paranormals, to receive some sings from "the other side".
Almost every one of them would have a story of some "inexplicable" fact that happened when they were either thinking about their child, or some moment of distress or a special occasion.
Dreams, lots of dreams with their child in it, telling them things, absolving them from their sins, assuring them they were OK and that it was beautiful there. Few would have nightmares, reliving their child last moments. Usually the ones the either had talked to the child moments earlier, or had found their bodies.
In a support group they would usually exchange the "signs" they had received. Common, unimportant things now had acquired new meaning, because they became "signs". Maybe there were dragonflies this time of the year since ancient times, but now, when all you can do is to stare at the nothing, trying to focus on the infinite, now you pay attention to them and think that they've never been there, or if they were, they've never flew so close to you. They must be a sign of your dead child, telling you that everything is going to be all right. And only of a sudden you see dragonflies everywhere.
Some experience objects disappearing and appearing in different places, "that for sure no one would ever put them there". Some get phone calls from the child's last phone number, and so many coincidences are suddenly discovered.
Others can see their child's face in strangers in a crowd. Or hear the child's voice when they are alone or when they are wandering in public place lost in their grief.
Most people see animals like dragonflies, butterflies, eagles, hummingbirds, fireflies, crickets. Others are left with the child's pets and can sense their child through them. The stories are always interesting and pretty, with a lesson at the end, like a innocent Chinese tale.
She could remember the look on his cats faces when she met them at his apartment after the funeral. The expression of despair and sorrow they had. She couldn't take the cats with her. The airline wouldn't transport them in the summer and she not even knew what to do. Last time she took two of his cats with her, he did all the paperwork.
She remembers that for a long time after his death she couldn't take her eyes of the ground. She started noticing all the details of all the terrains she was walking. She could spend hours staring at a stain on the carpet. She would stare at granite floors and see figures as if she was gazing at the sky imagining animals in the clouds.
Signs appeared to her too. She had a few dreams. They were not always happy, but the very first dream he was getting his luggage ready. He had a very heavy suitcase that she offered to take for him, so he could travel light. He sighed and complained to her:"No, mom! It's my luggage, I have to carry it. Look it's all arranged and I have to go now". She woke up crying.
The hummingbirds started appearing at the most unexpected times. The first time when she was very sad and had to sing at a wedding, soon after he died. Her heart was heavy and she looked at the sky on the top of the mountain, as if looking for strength from heavens. A little red throat hummingbird came to the porch and stayed there, hovering is his quiet insect flight during the whole ceremony. She always loved hummingbirds, but they were not easy to come by. The sight lifted her heart enough for her to sing. When she mentioned the fact at the support group, everyone was certain that it had been a sign from her son. From now on, every hummingbird sight became a sign. She started collecting hummingbird things: tea pots, mugs, stepping stones, jewelry, wind chimes... She didn't have much luck with hummingbird feeders or hummingbird flowers, but she tried. One day, after she had built a cover for the deck, one hummingbird came by the kitchen window. She went outside because she heard a strange noise: there it was, the hummingbird trapped under the Plexiglas ceiling of the deck cover. She gently guided the bird to freedom. It was a beautiful hummingbird, she would love to have it around more often, but keeping him longer would be the end for him. That was her Chinese tale. She had to understand and accept the way of the hummingbird, that it had to leave her in order to live. That no matter how much love she had for him, it wasn't enough to keep him close. She had to let it go. Maybe it was another sign...
