Which family members do you wish you kept better in touch with?

She read the line of the behavior exercise: "Which family members do you wish you kept better in touch with?"

Lowering her eyes, she couldn't see the paper in front of her. They were staring at her past, at the very moment when she let her brain take the best of her heart.

Her son, her son... She wish she had kept him close by. If only she had return at the last day she saw him to give him one more hug. As if her tears touching his shoulder and face would have a magic touch to make his soul fly away from misery and follow her to a future of dreams that were never fulfilled. Dreams that now had no use. Not for her, not to anyone. 

Now it's my turn to die

When one suffers from chronic depression, as the years go by, it comes contagious. Depression spreads to the ones around you, specially the ones that love you. Those are the most vulnerable.

The longer you struggle with depression, the more comfortable you feel with it, like the foot binding bandages that Chinese women used to prevent their feet from growing. As life grows inside of you, the cast of depression tightens around your soul and your spirit is forever deformed. You are afraid of removing the bandages, because you can smell the  gangrenous soul inside of it. It will be painful and probably unrecoverable.

That was how she felt in her family. All of them growing apart from each other and away from the world, the sect of misery that feeds from the darkness of depression.